There’s no doubt that our emotions play a huge part in the process of healing.  They can either help move us toward the steps we need to take to be healed or hinder us and keep us in the pain. Is one of these barriers keeping you from experiencing life as God intends it to be?

In Part 1 of this post, we covered the first three barriers to emotional healing:

• We Take Comfort in It
• We Feel Helpless to Change It
• We Feel We Deserve It

In Part 2 of this post we covered the next two barriers:

• We Won’t Let Go
• We Want Revenge

This week we’ll cover the following:

• We Think It’s Our Identity

Next week we’ll finish this series off with part four:

• We Put Our Trust in Faulty Coping Mechanisms

We Think It’s Our Identity

Who are you? It’s such a simple question. The answer is a little more complex. We’re talking about identity. Who we think we are.

The problem with identity is that it’s subjective and can change from day to day. We wake up and feel great and we’re on the top of the world and we feel good about ourselves. Or we wake up feeling overwhelmed and depressed and feel like we can’t cope with life today.

When you stop and think about yourself, what do you think? Who are you? Are your thoughts about yourself negative or positive? If you could be brutally honest with yourself, who would you say you are?

Here is a list of possible ways that people view themselves:

• I’m loved or I’m unlovable
• I’m an overcomer or I’m a victim
• I’m God’s child or I’m an orphan
• I’m whole or I’m broken
• I’m accepted or I’m unacceptable
• I’m a saint or I’m a sinner

We live and make choices out of our identity. It’s difficult to move beyond how we view ourselves.

So if we feel like an orphan and no one loves us, we’ll live an independent life depending on ourselves for everything. We know we are on our own and nobody cares about us, so why try and make friends? Even if someone is sincere, we can’t receive their love or attention because we know they don’t really care.

If we view ourselves as a child of God, we’ll turn to Him as our Father and receive His love. We’ll feel the security of His promise that He will never leave or forsake us. We can know we are accepted and make choices in life out of this knowledge.

Our Formative Years

Many of the thoughts that we have about who we are were shaped during our formative years. We were not only learning to crawl, walk, and run as we grew up, we were beginning to find our place in the world.

The family we grew up in has a major part in how we view ourselves. The atmosphere of the home was with negative or positive, more likely a combination of both.

If we grow up in a home that affirmed us and understands who we are, then it is more likely that we have a good understanding of who we are.

If we grew up in a home filled with chaos where we’re constantly criticized, then it is more likely that we’ll have a negative view of ourselves.

The devil loves to come to us in the early part of our development and convince us of an ungodly belief about ourselves. The more the better. He wants to do so when we’re young so that we will think it is part of our identity. It becomes a part of who we are in our minds.

The bad part about this is that we believe it’s true because we feel it’s true. For as long as he could remember Vance knew he was a loser. His dad told him so every time he tried to do something and didn’t do it up to his dad’s standards he would hear his dad mumble, “Oh God, why did you give me such a worthless son? He’s such a loser.”

Every mistake was another nail in the coffin. It was proof that he was, indeed, a loser. He would try new things from time to time knowing that he would not be able to do them right. No matter how hard he tried, he never measured up. He thought I’m such a loser. I’ve always been a loser.

The problem is that he’s not a loser. He may not be able to live up to his dad’s expectations, but that doesn’t make him a loser.

Getting Your Identity From God

It’s so important as a believer to get your identity from God. He made you and He knows who you are. Even though it sounds trite, God doesn’t make junk. You’re fearfully and wonderfully made. God has a purpose and a plan for your life. He has created you to be uniquely you. There is no one in the world like you.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:2).

20 But you did not learn Christ in this way, 21 if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, 22 that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, 23 and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24 and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. (Ephesians 4:20-24)

9 Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, 10 and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him— (Colossians 3:9-10)

God has a new way of thinking that will result in a new way of living. It’s time to begin the process of rooting out every belief you have that does not line up with the truth of God’s word. Take some time to notice what you are thinking and saying about yourself throughout the day. If you catch yourself saying, “I’m a loser,” or any other saying similar to it, then reject the lie and find out what God says about you.

Who Will I Be?

Sometimes it’s scary to begin this process. The main reason is that the lie has been with us so long that we think it is us. The lie seems almost like it’s part of our DNA. It is who we are.

We identify ourselves with the lie so much that we believe we’re altering our personality. The question rises to the surface, “If I get rid of this, who will I be?” We’ve become so comfortable with the lie and believed it so long that we’re threatened when we know we have to get rid of it.

Many people have hesitated in ministry sessions where the Lord revealed a lie that needed to be rejected. Who will I be? It seems so real and daunting. I’ve pictured myself this way for as long as I can remember. What will happen if I get rid of this lie?

My answer is always, “You’ll be who God created you to be.”

It always comes down to a choice. Will I believe God and trust that what He says is true? If you do, the lie must go. Receive your new identity in Christ.