Hey, Terry Tuinder here, and we are diving into forgiveness myth number eight: Forgiveness means ignoring what happened.
Forgiveness is not about playing pretend or ignoring reality.
Why We Try to Ignore Pain
There are a few reasons why we default to ignoring things rather than forgiving them. We do not like the pain we are experiencing, so we try to think happy thoughts or distract ourselves. Most people run from confrontation — we allow people to walk all over us because we do not want to rock the boat. We think staying silent is the same as keeping the peace, but you cannot walk through life effectively without dealing with issues as they arise.
Ignoring a problem does not make it go away; it just pushes it aside. True forgiveness follows a much different path.
Step 1: Acknowledge the Wrong
In true forgiveness, the first thing you must do is acknowledge that you have been wronged. You have to bring the hurt to the forefront and say, "This happened, and it was not right." You cannot forgive nothing — you have to forgive a specific offense.
Step 2: Set Your Heart to Forgive
You must, in your heart, determine ahead of time to be a forgiving person. This is based on Christ's command. Since He has forgiven us such a massive debt, He expects us to forgive others the debts they owe us. This is not just a legalistic act — it is a choice from the heart to release and let go.
Step 3: Give the Pain to the Lord
God does not want you to just forgive and then wallow in sorrow. He wants to heal you. When you forgive, talk to the Lord: "Lord, this really hurt. I am choosing to forgive, but I am giving this pain to You. Please heal my heart." Jesus bore our pains on the cross so that we do not have to dwell in bitterness and heartache.
Step 4: Release the Person
The core of forgiveness is releasing — letting the person go and giving them to the Lord. This means releasing them from your anger, your judgments, and your thoughts of vengeance. We often want people to pay for what they did. Forgiveness means turning that desire for vengeance over to God and trusting Him to be the Judge.
Step 5: Refuse to Use It as a Weapon
This is a vital part of forgiveness: refuse to use the situation against them in the future. When you truly forgive, you forego the right to bring that mistake up in a later argument to cause pain or win a fight.
Think about how God forgets your sins. It does not mean He has a memory lapse; it means He chooses never to use those sins against you once they are under the blood of Jesus. True forgiveness means you will not use the past to attack that person ever again. You are not forgetting the event that happened, but you are choosing never to use it as a weapon.
Remember, God will help you to forgive. He never commands you to do something that He will not give you the strength to accomplish through the Holy Spirit.
Choose today to be a forgiving person. Have a wonderful day, and God bless!