Let's talk about forgiveness myth number two: Forgiveness gets easier every time you do it. I don't know where this idea came from, but the truth is, forgiveness is never easy. It is never natural unless we are trying to avoid the issue or blow it off as if nothing happened. Most of the time, forgiveness takes real effort and determination.
Following the Example of Jesus
As believers, we want to live a lifestyle of forgiveness. We do this because Jesus is our example. Jesus forgave even from the cross, saying, "Father, please forgive them, for they don't know what they're doing." When His disciples asked Him to teach them to pray, He explicitly included forgiveness in the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). Jesus connects our forgiveness with our forgiveness of others. How can we expect to be forgiven if we refuse to forgive others? We must choose to be forgiving people — it is a significant commitment.
Peter's Question and the 70 Times 7
Jesus explains that if someone sins against you, you should confront them. Upon hearing this, Peter came to Jesus, thinking he was being generous, and asked,
"Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" In the culture of that day, rabbis taught you only had to forgive three times. Peter thought seven was stretching it. But Jesus answered: "I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven" (Matthew 18:21-22).
Beyond the Numbers
That is 490 times — a massive number. Jesus was not telling us to walk around with a counter and retaliate on time 491. He said "seventy times seven" so we would understand we need to forgive no matter what. This brings us back to the myth. Forgiveness is especially difficult when someone keeps doing the same thing over and over with the same hollow apologies. It is like a broken record, making forgiveness a genuine struggle.
Setting Boundaries While Forgiving
Even so, we must do what the Lord says. Being a forgiving person does not mean we do not set boundaries or try to stop sinful, destructive, harmful behavior. We should attempt to help the person while maintaining a forgiving heart. If we believe the myth that forgiveness gets easier, we might end up feeling like we have failed when it remains hard. It does not get easier — but God does give strength each time.
I want to encourage you to choose to be a forgiving person. From your heart, release those who hurt you. How has this myth impacted your life? Leave a comment below.
