I want to discuss some of the myths surrounding forgiveness. Today, we address myth number one: Forgiveness is Easy. Forgiveness is not easy — but it is necessary.
Jesus commands us to forgive others. He taught His disciples to pray, "Forgive us as we forgive others" (Matthew 6:12). You know how it goes — people say, "Oh, just forget it. Forgive and forget. Just get over it." But sometimes such evil things have been done to us that forgiveness feels nearly impossible.
Facing the Unforgivable
I remember being in a class where the instructor was discussing women who had been terribly abused. When I mentioned that they needed to forgive, the instructor responded angrily: "What do you mean they need to forgive? These women have been so hurt, so wounded, so terrorized. How in the world can they forgive?" I said, "No — we must be forgiving people." Forgiveness is not easy, and there are real reasons people struggle. But how can we forgive something that seems unforgivable? How can I forgive something so terrible?
Corrie Ten Boom's Dilemma
Corrie Ten Boom and her family hid Jews from the Germans during World War II. They were betrayed and sent to a concentration camp. Corrie's father died in a hospital. Her sister died in the camp. Then Corrie came face-to-face with the cruelest guard from the concentration camp. She faced a huge dilemma: could she forgive him? God never asks us to do something we cannot do. When it is difficult, He gives us the grace we need.
How the Impossible Became Possible
Here is Corrie's account:
"When I was in the concentration camp, one of the most terrible things was that they stripped us of all our clothing and we had to stand naked. I said, 'Betsy, I cannot bear this.' And suddenly it was as if I saw Jesus at the cross. He hung there naked. I knew He hung there for me, for my sins. In my sufferings, I understood a fraction of His suffering, and it made me so thankful that I could bear my own."
"Some time later, a man came to me in Berlin. 'Miss Ten Boom, I am glad to see you.' Suddenly, I recognized him — one of the cruel guards from the camp. He had become a Christian. He asked: 'Fraulein Ten Boom, will you forgive me?' And I could not. I remembered the suffering of my dying sister. But when I experienced that I could not forgive, I knew I myself had no forgiveness. Jesus said it — when you do not forgive, your Heavenly Father will not forgive you your sins."
"Then I took hold of Romans 5:5 — 'The love of God is brought into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who is given to us.' I said, 'Thank You, Father, that Your love is stronger than my hatred.' That same moment I was free. I shook his hand, and I felt God's love stream through my arm. You never touch the ocean of God's love more than when you forgive your enemies."
God Will Give You the Grace
No, it is not easy to forgive. As Corrie says, "Can I forgive? No — but He can." You can experience God's grace and victory by forgiving those who have hurt you and releasing the burdens in your heart that hinder you. If there is someone you need to forgive, release them. It is not easy — but God will help you.
A Prayer for Release
Father, I ask for the power of Your Holy Spirit to touch whoever is reading this. Help them release those who have hurt them and give them the grace to say, "I forgive." Allow Your love to flow into their heart. Just as Corrie was able to reach out to the man who caused her great harm, help them release and hold nothing against the person any longer. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.