Forgiveness Myth 13: Forgiving is Forgetting

Just Forget It

You’re emotionally wounded and in pain and someone glibly says to you, “just forgive and forget it.” They may even use words from the Bible where Paul talks about forgetting the past and pressing toward what is ahead.

There are many people who are desperately trying to forget what happened in the past in hope that the strong emotions connected to the memories will be stilled. If you don’t think about it, you’ll be safe. If a memory surfaces, you immediately squelch it and think about something else.

Attempting to forget what happened can actually cause harm to your body. Repressing your feelings only allows the pain and the physical and emotional damage it causes to remain. 

It’s like getting a sliver and covering it with a bandaid. You can’t see the sliver, but it’s still there and painful to the touch. The only way to heal the body is to remove the sliver. Forgiveness is like removing the sliver.

It’s as you forgive and release those who hurt you that the healing process can begin. Forgiveness is removing the sliver in your soul, but can you ever truly forget the horrible things that took place in your life?

Forgiveness isn’t a magical amnesia that wipes out every bad memory from the past. Just forgive, and boop, the event vanishes from your memory. I wish it worked that way that way, but it doesn’t.

Doesn't God Forget Our Sin?

But doesn’t the Bible say that God forgets our sin? Yes it does. Let’s look at a few of the verses that speak about this and see if we can determine what they mean.

“For I will be merciful to their iniquities,And I will remember their sins no more.” (Hebrews 8:12)

“I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake,And I will not remember your sins.” (Isaiah 43:25)

They will not teach again, each man his neighbor and each man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them,” declares the Lord, “for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” (Jeremiah 31:34)

So can the God who knows all things actually forget something that took place? I don’t think so in the sense that He never knew that it took place, but I think that the meaning of the verses above is that, 

1) God doesn't bring the memories to the forefront of His mind and dwell on them. He has chosen to forgive and will not rerun them in His mind.

2) God will never bring up a sin that has been forgiven to use against us. He will never use our past forgiven actions as a weapon to attack us.

What Happens When You Forgive?

When you forgive a person, you don’t forget what has happened. You simply choose to be like God in the way you respond to the person who hurt you. Forgiveness allows you to do the do the following four things:

1. You release the person into the hands of God. Forgiveness is all about you releasing any thoughts of hatred, bitterness, judgment, or revenge you hold against the person and turn them over to the Lord. It's trusting that God is your avenger and He will hold the person who hurt you responsible for what they did to you.
2. You sever the ungodly tie with the person who hurt you. Unforgiveness keeps you bound to the one who hurt you. It’s like an invisible link that holds you connected. Forgiveness breaks the link and frees you from their influence.
3. You remove the negative emotions from the memories. A huge part of forgiveness is releasing the pain you experienced to the Lord. Jesus is the one who heals the brokenhearted. Many people who have forgiven a person struggle to believe it’s true because they still have pain when they think of what took place. Jesus wants you to give Him every bit of the pain since He bore it for you on the cross.
4. You begin the process of healing. As long as there is unforgiveness in your heart, your soul is sick. You can’t begin the healing process until you rid yourself of the thing that is poisoning you. Unforgiveness is a thorn in your flesh and will continue to afflict you until you pull it out through forgiveness.

The great thing about forgiveness and healing is that the things of the past no longer have a hold you. You don’t even think about them, because they no longer hold power over your life. Even if a situation causes you to think about a past painful situation, the pain is gone and it no longer influences you.

Some of the greatest testimonies you will ever hear come from those who have walked through hell on earth and then were freed and healed through forging those who hurt them. Don’t forget your past, remember it and share the healing power of Jesus Christ that comes through forgiveness. Others will hear and be healed as they forgive those who hurt them.